17, 18, 19 Ramadan 1440
Aaaand I’m menstruating.
I realized I was bleeding after praying zuhr in the West Village, and the first thought that occurred to me was – BURGER.
My second and third thought, The endless food choices in the village confound me. God, it’s so much easier to fast than make a decision.
My fourth thought – BURGER.
But I had just prayed so it felt awkward.
Not in that – What are people going to think? way.
That’s never been the case with periods and me.
It’s more like — How so soon, Sahar? in that getting back with an ex kind of way.
Like – Am I loyal to The Fast?
Because as soon as I saw the blood, I excitedly thought BURGER.
BUT I still felt a little pang of guilt. The kind that whispers – Gosh, give it some time.
You JUST broke up.
And you already running back to THAT thing?
But it makes me feel so good.
By the time I got in the subway, however, I was too lazy to walk back to go get a juicy burger.
At that point, I realized I bamboozled myself because I was neither with The Fast nor Burger.
I was just hungry.
But that wasn’t for long. Because as soon as I got off the train at the Columbia stop, I thought – LEMONADE. I WANT ICED COLD LEMONADE.
And after I got my lemonade, a friend saw me sipping on the iced lemonade I had in one hand with a tuna roll box in another — and she was understandably confused because it was only a couple days ago I excused myself from eating a delicious lunch she prepared.
But some periods are like old friends, some friends are like coming home, and home is a lover you could never really leave behind.
To quote the inimitable songstress Adele who sang about daytime eating during Ramadan —
Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain’t like you to hold back
Or hide from the light
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but I
Couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it
I had hoped you’d see my face
And that you be reminded that for me
It isn’t over.
Also – I got my burger.
(Day 16, 17, 18, changes for the better, friends, home sweet home)