17, 18, 19 Ramadan 1440 

Aaaand I’m menstruating.

I realized I was bleeding after praying zuhr in the West Village, and the first thought that occurred to me was – BURGER.

My second and third thought, The endless food choices in the village confound me. God, it’s so much easier to fast than make a decision.

My fourth thought – BURGER.

But I had just prayed so it felt awkward.

Not in that – What are people going to think? way.

That’s never been the case with periods and me. 

It’s more like — How so soon, Sahar? in that getting back with an ex kind of way.

Like – Am I loyal to The Fast?

Not really.

Because as soon as I saw the blood, I excitedly thought BURGER.

BUT I still felt a little pang of guilt. The kind that whispers – Gosh, give it some time.

You JUST broke up.

And you already running back to THAT thing?

But it makes me feel so good.

By the time I got in the subway, however, I was too lazy to walk back to go get a juicy burger.

At that point, I realized I bamboozled myself because I was neither with The Fast nor Burger.

I was just hungry.

But that wasn’t for long. Because as soon as I got off the train at the Columbia stop, I thought – LEMONADE. I WANT ICED COLD LEMONADE.

And after I got my lemonade, a friend saw me sipping on the iced lemonade I had in one hand with a tuna roll box in another — and she was understandably confused because it was only a couple days ago I excused myself from eating a delicious lunch she prepared.

But some periods are like old friends, some friends are like coming home, and home is a lover you could never really leave behind.

To quote the inimitable songstress Adele who sang about daytime eating during Ramadan —

Old friend, why are you so shy?

Ain’t like you to hold back

Or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but I 

Couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it

I had hoped you’d see my face

And that you be reminded that for me 

It isn’t over.

Also – I got my burger.

(Day 16, 17, 18, changes for the better, friends, home sweet home)

#MaghribtoMaghrib