9 & 10 Ramadan 1443
During pandemic times, you have likely heard of brain fog.
But have you heard of fasting brain?
And how fasting brained folk — who do not eat suhur, sleep only 4 hours because they teach a Saturday morning class, can’t take a nap because there are parents to meet and pots to return, and go on halal food runs about 35 minutes away — have an attention span about as wide as a toothpick?
These same fasting folk will excitedly walk into a halal fried chicken spot – highly recommended by a colleague, thank you – and proceed to order 15 buffalo wings and 10 pieces of fried chicken that comes with a large bottle of ginger ale and a large box of fries
And then after paying for that, they will realize they also want mashed potatoes
And after paying for that, they will also decide they want chicken and lamb over rice with both white sauce and hot sauce
With extra sauce on the side, please.
And after that, a new Coke flavor called STARLIGHT with a starry pink and purple color scheme will catch their eye and completely distract them
And then their food run companion, who is also excited and a total nerd, will say, WOW it’s like that Octavia Butler novel; I’ll get it for you!
And THEN in their excitement with all the bags in their hands, they will say thank you and good bye to everyone inside
WHO WILL NOT STOP THEM BECAUSE THOSE MUSLIMS LIKELY ALSO HAVE FASTING BRAIN
So they will head home.
But 10 minutes in, along the way, one of them will realize Oh NO. WE FORGOT THE GINGER ALE
But they won’t turn around until they reach home because it’s just soda and that’s okay
BUT IT WILL NOT BE OKAY
Because when they will begin unloading their trunk
And look at their bags
One of them will observe
OH SHIT WE FORGOT THE CHICKEN.
LIKE — WE FORGOT ALLLL THE CHICKEN. TWO LARGE BOXES. 25 PIECES. $32. HOW.
And then they will drive 35 minutes back to the halal fried chicken spot
Where 15 wings and 10 pieces of legs and thighs and a liter of ginger ale will be waiting for them.
Because fasting brain.