Last Thursday, after getting myself bubble tea, I walked uptown through Riverside Park. and stopped to look at a particularly fat squirrel.

The animal then proceeded to climb over the tree guard, walk onto the sidewalk, and follow (i.e. chase) me.

I remembered my weird friend Ghalib, may God have mercy on his soul (Al-FATIHAH), who always told me—Never trust the squirrels, Sahar. Stay away from the squirrels.

The following day, on Friday, after the most wonderful experience at the Park Avenue Armory in which I was a part of a casted audience and discovered that the banging of pots and pans is immensely triggering and walked in the rain to process—I came home and found a cat outside my window, on the stoop, meowing like she was newly evicted. I gave her food, water, a box with a towel. She rejected it all; made me feel like the neediest, most inadequate friend; and demanded to be brought inside.

On Saturday morning, I called the super. I learned the cat wasn’t homeless. She just got lost climbing down the fire escape from her apartment above, and she has a very nice human named Anna and a cat sibling.

On Sunday evening, as I stood looking out at the Hudson River, a big hairy wet dog walked up to me, nuzzled his head against my leg, whined about his life, and asked for pats like he was all alone in the world. Not too long after, two surprised humans waved at us saying he’s ours, we’re sorry, we don’t know why he’s acting like he’s homeless. He eventually—reluctantly—walked back.

On Tuesday morning, I met a friend outside a café. She observed a bird giving me “Are you my mother?” looks; and not too long after, another dog put his head against my leg as I minded by business. His person rushed out of the café and said, I’m here! You’re not lost! We’re just not in New Jersey!

I have no pictures of the dogs or bird so I have included a photo of Balto from my walk in the rain (above) and a photo of a goose that got separated from its flock for several days (below).

It all has been very weird.

If raccoons start marching behind me to pledge their allegiance, it means the revolution is here.

I will only be notifying my closest contacts.

The rest of you have been warned.

🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿